By Diane Mapes, contributing writer
What it is: Leg & Foot Massager by Sirius ($59.99)
What it claims to do: According to the manufacturer, the Sirius Leg & Foot Massager (with Rhythmic Massage Action!) will “reduce heart rate and blood pressure, improve blood circulation and muscle relaxation, relieve muscle soreness, stiffness and pain and alleviate pain due to stress and tension” and a whole bunch of other stuff.
My experience: One of the things about living alone – and on a budget – is that you usually don’t get as much massage action as you’d like. There’s no loving partner to rub your aching muscles after a long day. And if you spend all your money on boring stuff like groceries and rent, you may not be able to hire a professional to take care of you, either. That’s one reason the Leg & Foot Massager seemed interesting to me. You just Velcro the massaging straps onto your legs, plug the thing in and you’re good to go. Instant massage therapy at the touch of a button. No fuss, no muss, no tip!
But “instant” isn’t exactly the word I’d used to describe my experience. It took a good 45 minutes to read through all the instructions, wrestle the two blue massage belts into position around my upper and lower legs, figure out the remote control and its eight different massage functions, and convince myself that I wasn’t going to set my thighs on fire.
Once I finally got the massager going, I did find the “vibrating, rolling, kneading and pounding” action somewhat pleasant (I imagine people who suffer from leg cramps would love this thing), but there were a couple of annoying distractions. For one thing, its loud buzzing rhythmic action – a little on the right, a little on the left, now altogether all at once, now alternating really fast with all the lights flashing – kept reminding me of that final spaceship-music scene in “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.” For another, getting a massage on my legs made me realize how much I really needed work done on my upper back. Unfortunately, I couldn’t figure out how to jury-rig the Leg & Foot Massager to fit around my shoulders, so I came away from my first session both spent and resentful.
But after a few uses, I actually sort of started enjoying the free rubdown, especially after I quit using it on my bare skin, which was way too itchy (no doubt a result of my “stimulated blood circulation”). Using it with sweatpants felt better and seemed more practical, especially for those wanting to massage and commute at the same time (you can plug it right into the cigarette lighter in your car). Personally, I wouldn’t recommend this since the dual belts and cords seem too cumbersome to use while driving, but the unit does work well at home – as long as you don’t continually mix up the massage controller with your TV remote.
What the experts say: Can this device actually offer any of the health benefits of hands-on massage? Yes and no, says Cynthia Ribeiro, a clinical professor who teaches anatomy at the University of California at Irvine and the founder/owner of The Western Institute of Neuromuscular Therapy in Laguna Hills, Calif. “If a person can’t afford to have a hands-on massage, this might help them a little bit, but it will never substitute for it,” she says. “They may want to use it in conjunction with massage therapy, but it’s more of a Band-Aid. The machine won’t offer the warmth and response of human contact or a soothing long stroke. And it won’t be able to tell you if there’s something developing in your body. It can’t do a history and tell you the reason that your muscles are sore is because you have a flat foot.”
Ribeiro says the Leg & Foot Massager’s kneading and vibrating action probably does help with improved circulation and overall relaxation, but felt the device, for the most part, “sounds more like one of those things that goes in the garage after a while.“
Bottom line: I can’t really say whether this thing enhanced my vitality or promoted peristalsis in the digestive tract (in other words, gets things moving) as it claims, but having my legs and ankles rubbed was both relaxing and stimulating, especially after a hard cardio workout. I also seemed to sleep better on the nights that I “plugged in” (improved sleep quality is another one of its health claims). Those who use it should note that the unit automatically shuts down after 15 minutes (a motor protecting measure) and you have to wait another 15 before using it again. But as far as I remember, even loving partners tucker out after that amount of time, too.
Diane Mapes is a Seattle freelance writer and author of "How to Date in a Post-Dating World."
