By Anna Chan, health editor
What it is: Smooth Away ($14.99 plus $6.99 shipping/handling from www.getsmoothaway.com)
What it claims to do: Buff away unwanted hair and leave skin “so soft and incredibly smooth.” According to the Web site, the Smooth Away pads are covered with superfine crystals that easily, safely, painlessly and quickly remove unwanted hair and exfoliate dead skin cells.
My experience: I hate to admit it, but I’ve been a girl of the more hirsute sort since I can remember, and my excess hair caused me great embarrassment as a child. I tried many hair removal products in my teen years, hoping to find something cheap that would remove hair painlessly. The products I tried usually caused me considerable amounts of pain (from waxing) or pain and very irritated skin (from smelly depilatories).
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By Jasmin Aline Persch, contributing writer
What it is: PearlyDreams Sleep Enhancing Toothpaste; $19.95, plus shipping; www.pearlydreams.net
What it claims to do: Help you sleep and maintain your teeth. PearlyDreams toothpaste, created and patented by a New York dentist, purportedly works by absorbing through the “thousands of tiny blood vessels in your mouth.” The toothpaste has the natural supplements melatonin, valerian, balm mint and passionflower “known to relax, calm, and help the body drift off to sleep,” according to the manufacturer.
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by Melissa Dahl, health editor
What it is: 5-Hour Energy, a teeny, 2-fl. oz. drink priced at about $3.99.
What it claims to do:Boost your energy for five hours – without the caffeine crash later.
My experience: I’ve recently discovered that I am becoming old. Not physically old, mind you; I’m still several weeks shy of my 24th birthday. No, the other, lamer kind of old – the kind who secretly wants to be asleep by 11 on a Friday night. The younger of the voices in my head, however, rarely allows this, and constantly berates me to act my age. And so began my quest to find an energy drink that I can stomach – and one that actually works.
Coffee makes me jittery, and most energy drinks taste horrible; plus, many of them have tons of sugar and upwards of 200 calories. That’s what initially drew me to the 5-Hour Energy drink: It has only four calories, and no sugar. I was skeptical that a drink this little could actually do what it claims, but I tried it on a Friday night, at dinner with a friend.
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By Diane Mapes, contributing writer
What it is: Foot Chi Cobblestone Foot Path ($49.90, includes shipping)
What it claims to do: According to the manufacturer, the Foot Chi (pronounced “foot chee”) Cobblestone Foot Path is designed to emulate the “ancient stone reflexology pathways found throughout Asia” in order to “stimulate and regulate acupoints located on the soles of the feet.” Common benefits of reflexology, the literature states, are relaxation, improved circulation, and help with insomnia, sinusitis, allergies, fatigue, stress, anxiety and digestion.
My experience: I decided to break out my Foot Chi on the day after Thanksgiving, when most of us are searching for something – anything! -- to help with that age-old holiday trifecta of stress, fatigue and digestive woes.
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By Melissa Dahl, health editor
What it is: The Etiquette Checker, $54 at www.japantrendshop.com
What it claims to do: Prevent you from being the obnoxious drunk with the horrible breath – just in time for holiday parties. An awesome infomercial from Japan demonstrates how the Etiquette Checker works: After chowing down on seasonal treats and cocktails, breathe into this little gizmo, and it will rate how bad your breath is and how inebriated you are on a scale of one to six.
My experience: The problem with a gadget you’re supposed to use when you’re drinking is that you’re always drinking when you’re supposed to be using it. After receiving the Etiquette Checker, I immediately stashed it in my bag, intending to whip it out and try it among friends on the weekend. But as the conversations got going and, ahem, the drinks got flowing, I could never remember to actually use the thing.
And then the little brother came to town for a visit. Who better than family to help reveal how bad your breath is and how tipsy you are?
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By JoNel Aleccia, health writer
What it is: Storm Defender, a fabric cape for dogs to wear during thunderstorms ($54.99 and $64.99)
What it claims to do: Keep your dog from becoming anxious and destructive during a big storm. You tie the cape lined with metallic fabric around the dog’s body at the first hint of thunder and lightning – or the first sign of worried canine behavior. The makers, Storm Defender LLC of Fairfield, Ohio, claim it disperses the static electricity that builds up before a storm, calming the dog (and the owner) without the use of drugs.
My experience: I was completely unprepared for the reality of a big dog on a dark and stormy night. I’ve been a cat person for most of my adult life, and happily so, until my husband and I allowed our teenaged son to talk us into a puppy. The teenager left for college, of course, and the puppy is now a 112-pound pooch with a sweet disposition – and a morbid fear of thunderstorms.
My history with felines never could have prepared me for the panting, the drooling, the whining, or the sight of a giant animal standing on all four legs, looming over me as I lay in bed.
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By Diane Mapes
What it is: Flex-Away facial exerciser and toner, $49, www.flexawaysystem.com.
What it claims to do:The manufacturer, Hanna Ibes, Inc., says the Flex-Away facial exerciser gives the face and neck muscles the “workout they need to stay fit and healthy.” It promises users will see their “down-turned lips become rounded and lifted, giving the entire face a younger appearance” and “lower cheeks appear hollower for a classic sculptured look.
The device promises to exercise the “large and powerful muscles surrounding the lips,” which supposedly connect to the rest of your face muscles like ”the hub of a wheel, with many spokes.”
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By Melissa Dahl, health editor
What it is: FitFlops, $49.99, www.thefitflop.com. Available at Bath and Body Works, Macy’s, and Victoria’s Secret.
What it claims to do: Provide you with a “bum-blasting workout” disguised as a 30-minute walk. The manufacturer says a stroll in these shoes will trim and tone thighs, calves and glutes, thanks to its MicroWobbleboard technology (patent pending).
My experience: Promises, promises. I was lured into buying the FitFlops after an ad from Bath and Body Works for the shoes landed in my inbox. (I’m a sucker for punny subject lines: “Try These on for Thighs!”) The ad included an exhaustive, five-part diagram of the shoe that was impressively complicated, and the manufacturer’s Web site has actual warnings all over the place: “Use progressively to avoid excessive muscle soreness.” “Always consult your (doctor) prior to undertaking strenuous exercise.” (Plus, it’s recommended by Oprah!)
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By Paige West, director of interactive projects
What it is: Kinoki Detox Foot Pads; $19.99; www.buykinoki.com
What it claims to do: The foot pads collect “harmful toxins” from your body while you sleep, says the manufacturer, by “cleansing and detoxifying your skin’s outer layers,” boosting your energy level and improving your health and wellness.
My experience: I was surfing the Web on a rainy Seattle night with the TV on in the background when whatever late-night show I’d been watching ended and suddenly, images of a woman in a kimono filled the screen as a voice-over told me about an ancient Japanese secret that would give me better health and well-being. The claims were so fantastic that it took me a while to decide whether I was watching a satirical sketch or an ad for a real product.
The item in question? The Kinoki Detox Foot Pad – and it’s real, all right.
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By Linda Dahlstrom, health editor
What it is: Hula Chair; $129.95 at www.gadgetuniverse.com
What it claims to do: “Beautify” and build the body and “obese waist and belly.” The manufacturer also says it will enhance circulation and, somehow, relieve hemorrhoids.
My experience: Promotional materials that come with the Hula Chair say that a “fat waist and belly are caused by the lack of sports and accumulation of fat on these parts.” That is exactly my problem: No sports and fat on my waist have resulted in, well, a fat waist.
Part carnival ride, part hefty office furniture, the Hula Chair looks rather respectable. It’s when you press the “on” button that things get weird. I’ve never been on a mechanical bull, but I suspect I’m in the ballpark of accurate comparison. On the lowest settings, the Hula Chair feels a little like being in a rowboat during a storm. On the highest, the chair bucked, thumped, crept across the room, threw me against its unpadded arms and generally beat me up. At no point did I feel like I was doing the hula.
But working your muscles isn’t supposed to be comfortable, right? That’s the point. No pain, no gain.
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